Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Take time to see progress

I have told a few people about my blog lately and had to say that I haven't updated in awhile. Trying to make excuses for why not, I found myself saying that not much had changed and you don't want to hear about the same frustrations over and over again, it gets annoying. 

But someone posted about their anniversary of diagnosis day, and it made me look up mine, because I didn't remember what day it was. December 5th, according to my journal. Then I started reading. It's interesting reading what my feelings were back then. I was heartbroken, yet still held a lot of hope that she would get better, that things would change, or at least not be as bad as blind. Blind was the worst possible thing ever! (Which is totally not true but in my mind then, it was.) My heart healed quickly as Maggie wrapped us around her tiny fingers. 

Brandon and I used to pray everyday for a miracle, for her sight to improve, for things to change, basically for us all not to have to deal with this. I haven't prayed for that in a few years now. 

I read through old blog posts, seeing how much she's grown, physically and otherwise. How my worries and frustrations have changed and evolved as she learns new skills and develops new quirks. And I see how much has changed in the last year. 

This time last year we were having interviews with her kindergarten teacher, aide, TVI (teacher of the visually impaired), and the principal. Maggie struggled so much with change and with things not going her way. She would throw monumental tantrums that interrupted the whole class, and usually made it so she would have to be manhandled to the resource room so she could take the 20 minutes necessary to calm back down. I can't tell you how many times I was called to come pick her up because she wouldn't calm down. Being around her was exhausting. 

We just had parent teacher conferences the other day. Her teacher had so few complaints I was almost in shock. She kept apologizing because we didn't really have anything to talk about. Maggie has always been smart, so academics are not what we focus on, she loves to learn and has a mind like a super sponge. Not the normal sponge that every kid has, but a super sponge. I think she's bordering on an idetic memory for which I am so thankful, because it will make her life so much easier. 

Maggie struggled a little at the beginning of the year, getting used to routine and lean ring how to handle the changes coming at her. Overall though, this year has been amazing! I pick her up from school and she tells me all about math and how her friends played with her on the slides and how she loves adaptive PE. Mrs. Thelma, Maggie's aide, that is one of the most patient, kind, and loving people I've ever met, tells me all about how well she's handling things lately. 

I am so grateful to be able to see progress. It's been slow, as I suppose progress usually is. But to be able to look back and know that my stress levels are so much lower is so relieving. And it's really nice that being around my daughter is no longer a constant trial of patience and my ability to stay calm.

Things change and get better. I promise. And when they do, make sure you take note. And thank God. He's helped you out a lot along the way.